Hey look kids, theres Big Ben

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to write a very quick update from London. It is 1:30am and I’m having a bit of trouble sleeping. I am hugging my Peter Pan plushie to my tummy thanks to Euro Disney in Paris and am feeling a bit thoughtful.

Tomorrow is my last day of my trip and then I am back to Sydney for five days to catch up with my friends and to see my doctor.

Can you believe it’s been one month and two days since Michael passed? Does the pain lessen? No. Do I feel any less heartbroken? No. Have my tears stopped? No. In fact, i have barred myself from thinking about him too in depth while I’ve been here. I was at dinner last week with a girlfriend in Paris and her friend– both huge fans and I began welling up in front of them both — however it’s been wonderful to be around friends that understand.

In saying that all of my friends have been good to me — fans or not, in fact the only person who was horrible to me about it was a girl from church — funnily enough.

I went back to Brompton oratory yesterday for a solemn mass. It was nice, but I miss my own church. I can’t wait to be back there.

I guess I’ll try to get some sleep cos we are doing a fair bit tomorrow but I wanted to say, God loves us. He loves us so much that we as humans can’t fathom… But it’s true. God will never put something on our plate that is too big for us to chew. And always have hope because without hope we are lost.

When I get home I will upload my photos and stuff to flickr or if anyone wants to add me to facebook they can send an email to divinetreasures83@gmail.com
And I’ll add u. Xxx

Pray for my safe return to Sydney both journeywise and healthwise, amen?

Xxxx

Hello from London

Hey everyone.

I am writing to you from Greenwich, London. This is my 5th day and counting. I still have another few days before I head off to Paris. It has been kinda difficult to be here. The first few days were fine, but the past 3 have been very hard.

Last night we went to a Michael Jackson vigil at the o2 Arena and I just cried, and cried and cried.

I also think I have broken two ribs. I know, I know… trust me. I caught up with this friend of mine that I’ve never met before and when he saw me we were so happy that he hugged me so tight and lifted me up. Know that I’m 4ft 11 and my mate is about 6ft1… as he lifted me we both felt two very, very loud cracks followed by searing pain. And I have been in a lot of pain ever since… It’s bearable. I have no travelers insurance (I am not eligible for it, they laugh me out of their damn broker’s as soon as they read about my prev. medical history lol) so I won’t go to the doctor but from what I am told there is very little that can be done for it anyway except firmly strapping it with bandages and being very careful… which I have been doing thusfar.

Besides that I have some very sore legs… my joints are aching twenty four seven but I am praying it away. Please pray for my healing… I am sure everything is taking a toll on me. I will post some photographs of my trip.

To be honest it hasn’t been all sad… some of it has been nice. It was so good last night because I met with a girl I have been penpals with for more than 10 yrs. We have never met before and haven’t even had much internet interaction its been all by snail mail and I ran in to her by chance…. I am so surprised I recognised her because I have only ever seen a photograph of how she looked at around 17 yrs old and she’s 25 now. It was so great to see her, it made me so happy and she gave me such a huge hug. It was so good to be around people who felt the same grief I have.

My priest sent me an email yesterday morning that made me cry. I emailed him about something very unrelated. A few weeks ago I told him I was coming to see Michael, it was a quick passing mention and he sort of laughed but said MJ puts on a great show (he’s seen an MJ concert before) and I guess he realised since the last time I saw him that I was quite devastated about it… in his email was a huge paragraph (randomly) about how he hoped I wasn’t too devastated and how wonderful he actually thought Michael really was and went in to detail about how he has suffered so much in his life at the ends of greed and viciousness… it was just so nice to hear that from someone like a priest… and he put a few nice words to help me put it all in to perspective. And also? It was wonderful that he was thinking of my heart without making me feel ridiculous about it.

Meanwhile I went to Brompton Oratary for church on Sunday and it was beautiful If you havent seen it… you should look i tup.

I have 7 min left online so I am going to go back to my room and rub deep heat in to my legs… ack…. pray for me!!!

Paris on Friday. Finally!.

Why did you go

I am sitting here on my phone writing this entry with a heavy heart. I am in Sydney and I am leaving for London in 3 days time. I am very, very sad. I have a certain emptiness about me that I can’t seem to fill. It just doesn’t seem fair to me.

It is nice to have a new priest at our parish who I adore. I told him a month ago my reasons for going to London and rather than judging me, he said he’d seen mj before in concert, and I would looove it….

Interesting contrast to some parishioners of whom have been a little judgememtal. For instance last night someone tried to lecture me on how I’d probably get a lot out of doing faith based stuff. And more so than going to a concert…. Marginalizing of course, my upset …. I just wanted to scream.

I am 25. I’ve always acted older and done more mature stuff with my time. I base my life around church. I organize a youth group I do children liturgy, I am on the liturgical list — I try to always do my best to get involved in everything at church including visiting the elderly and being personal taxi to young girls. I just. Want. To. Be. My. Age. For. Once. In. My. Life.

And if I want to be sad about MJ let me be. Why is it ok for people to make fun of the lives of celebs or disrespect them? Is it right as a Christian to jump on the bandwagon and pay out people just because you don’t know them and they are famous?! No. That’s still unchristian.

I told my priest very candidly last nite that I’m extremely mad at god and am finding it hard to understand why he would do this to someone and to a very very young family…. It’s not fair. He assured me it’s normal— but. Still I feel really depressed.

And now London…. Empty.