Just a few months back…

Journey of the Cross and Icon was so much fun. It was the beginning of me, really, getting to know my faith a bit better – and also the people in my church. This was about 2 months before World Youth Day, which, for those who know me, will remember was quite a debacale. I attended WYD this year in July, but in all honesty — it was not the greatest choice I ever made. While I had some great moments with 3 friends, I had a lot of greviences with a lot of things and a lot of big issues weren’t properly communicated or catered for, for me…

I got home feeling really bitter about my experience (not with Catholics in general, or with the Church just particular instances that could have been well prevented) which was only cemented by a terrible bout of Pneumonia and Whooping Cough AT THE SAME TIME!!!!! … I only have one lung. It was actual torture… And after I got most of that out of my system and narrowly escaped hospital trip #94243 I got shingles (again) … Super.

Why am I lamenting?  hehe… Well, I suppose despite all of those crappy circumstances – The jerk police officer who made me walk 3948kms further rather than just let me walk thru the gated off area to get to my area (despite my ‘disability pass’), thus exhausting me and my dicky respiratory system further – The transport that was promised to be provided to get me to events when I wasn’t able to walk that wasn’t – The sleeping on freezing cold cement floors in a cattle hall (I’m serious) — it may have been worth it for the way that I have grown spiritually since.

I don’t think WYD really increased my faith in any way except for the Homily our Holy Father gave during the sleep out Mass that I was extremely blessed to hear and see with my own eyes. I left WYD feeling spiritually weakened and very, very aware of my disadvantages in a way that I never had been — but that was possibly a good thing also, a chance for self-acceptance, to accept God’s Will with my life. It also made me very aware of the fact that I have no right to set limits on my health, my body, my capacity — because for a week I walked 3948039kms a day, woke up at a ridiculous time, did things that I didn’t necessarily want to do – spent time with people that I didn’t necessarily want to be around, and jumped completely and utterly out of my comfort zone and in to something that I never possibly dreamed to be involved with.

I have spent the past 12 years of my life succumbing to fear, letting it stop me and allowing me to quit most things that have ever been of any importance, but God really helped me take a leap of Faith with WYD … and since then I have been trying my hardest to continue doing that without shrinking in to the person that I used to be before I found God.

This is why 2 Tim 1:7 is so important to me. I have to think about it daily.

And WYD wasn’t so terrible. I had good friends looking after me, carrying my cross with me