Guilt is a funny thing. It comes over us at some point or another and keeps us aware of our own consciences. This is a good thing. If I had no conscience, then I’d assume that God’s grace was not dwelling within me in any sense of the word. To be remorseless, free of shame or guilt would be a life without God. It’s what keeps our confessions Holy, it’s what makes our hearts contrite and sorrowful… It teaches us about humility and can lead us away from old habits and in to where we aspire to be in terms of our journey with Christ.
I feel guilty in life a lot. I easily feel guilted by people for things that are out of my hands. I feel guilty about saying the wrong things, not being able to do more, things I’ve done in the past…and it goes on. If I got $1 for each time guilt encumbered me in a week, I’d never have to work again.
However, every now and then (and it happened just last week) I am overshadowed by this deep, dark feeling of guilt over something that just weighs me down to a degree that I cannot explain. It is a sporadic thing. I will feel okay and an hour later, I get the feeling of guilt over me so strong that I feel ready to cry. In these moments I pray for God’s peace.
Other people I know suffer from this same feeling — but in the past few months I have began to properly utilise the Sacrament of Confession. One of the most amazing gifts of The Catholic Church, actually. When you confess and gain absolution and penance every single thing you have confessed is gone. It’s like it never existed, you are free – washed whiter than the snow. It hasn’t been until just recently I have actually embraced this. Instead of confessing, coming home and feeling guilty, I know I can just let it go — because God has. There is nothing in this world that God cannot forgive if we are truly repentant.
I try so hard as a Christian to be a better person every day, I might not succeed, I might trip up 15 times a day, but each time I go to confession, I am filled with God’s grace and am able to make 15 times in to just 12, and then just 10… and so on… I try not to focus on the past if I have already confessed, I try not to get caught up on the skeletons that I kept in the closet, because with the deep-seeded belief in Christ comes freedom. Instead of always being so upset about what I didn’t do that day, I try to focus on what I did do, and what I can try to do tomorrow.
I asked a friend just recently, who was lamenting constantly over the past and how she could have better handled situation, “If you spend so much time looking behind you, how do you think you’ll keep from stumbling, falling and hurting yourself on everything that is in front of you?”
Impossible. Look forward, stop looking back. Got guilt? Feeling repentant? Go to confession. Be free with Christ’s Love.
“As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” — Romans 10:11
Goodnight, God Bless
5 responses so far ↓
God's girl // November 4, 2008 at 2:41 am
I have struggled with guilt a lot. I have learned that if my guilt is pushing me away from God then it is probably from satan. I know God will convict me when I do something wrong, but He is gentle and loving, and His goal is to always bring me closer to Him. I hope you have a blessed day!
AutumnRose // November 4, 2008 at 3:17 am
I absolutely endorse everything you say about confession! I don’t know how I ever managed in my Protestant days without this truly powerful Sacrament! That just-washed-all-white-and-clean feeling is wonderful ~ praise God for the Graces of His Holy Church!
AR xx
Sharon // November 4, 2008 at 5:22 am
Jess
Great post xx!! I have spent alot of my life dealing with guilt and, this side of my Catholic Conversion, that also means I’ve not yet availed myself of the sacrament of Confession [Reconcilliation].
The one thing I know is that guilt is meant to be just a stepping stone, not something to be dwelt on for days, weeks or years. God gave us guilt as a sign to seek repentance, to seek forgiveness, to put things right with Him and with anyone we may have hurt. Long term guilt is truly a waste of life. All the time we’re focussing on that we’re not focussing on God.
Thank you for sharing Jess.
pax
Sharon xx
AutumnRose // November 5, 2008 at 12:42 am
I found my first confession utterly mind-blowing. I have never felt so clean as I did afterwards! I could have cartwheeled down the aisle of the Church!
JLT // November 5, 2008 at 2:02 am
My first confession was pretty uneventful. I found it to be scary and not at all what I had hoped or expected. It lived up to nothing like what my friends had shared theirs to be. It lacked, but then I realised why. I was given some misinformation about confession and how to go about making one. The priest “didn’t want to know” all my “business”, but I didn’t realise that it wasn’t supposed to be about him – it was between God and I, he was just the bridge and there to guide me and absolve me… In the end I sought out another priest at a Capuchin Monastery who was amazing and I wrote a 4 page list of all the things that I could think of — I spent a long time with him and afterwards felt a freedom of which I had never felt before.
What a moment. And ever since, whenever I want to make an awesome confession with good advice from a fantastic priest, I go back to see the Capuchin Friars… They are truly great shephards.