Guilt is a funny thing. It comes over us at some point or another and keeps us aware of our own consciences. This is a good thing. If I had no conscience, then I’d assume that God’s grace was not dwelling within me in any sense of the word. To be remorseless, free of shame or guilt would be a life without God. It’s what keeps our confessions Holy, it’s what makes our hearts contrite and sorrowful… It teaches us about humility and can lead us away from old habits and in to where we aspire to be in terms of our journey with Christ.
I feel guilty in life a lot. I easily feel guilted by people for things that are out of my hands. I feel guilty about saying the wrong things, not being able to do more, things I’ve done in the past…and it goes on. If I got $1 for each time guilt encumbered me in a week, I’d never have to work again.
However, every now and then (and it happened just last week) I am overshadowed by this deep, dark feeling of guilt over something that just weighs me down to a degree that I cannot explain. It is a sporadic thing. I will feel okay and an hour later, I get the feeling of guilt over me so strong that I feel ready to cry. In these moments I pray for God’s peace.
Other people I know suffer from this same feeling — but in the past few months I have began to properly utilise the Sacrament of Confession. One of the most amazing gifts of The Catholic Church, actually. When you confess and gain absolution and penance every single thing you have confessed is gone. It’s like it never existed, you are free – washed whiter than the snow. It hasn’t been until just recently I have actually embraced this. Instead of confessing, coming home and feeling guilty, I know I can just let it go — because God has. There is nothing in this world that God cannot forgive if we are truly repentant.
I try so hard as a Christian to be a better person every day, I might not succeed, I might trip up 15 times a day, but each time I go to confession, I am filled with God’s grace and am able to make 15 times in to just 12, and then just 10… and so on… I try not to focus on the past if I have already confessed, I try not to get caught up on the skeletons that I kept in the closet, because with the deep-seeded belief in Christ comes freedom. Instead of always being so upset about what I didn’t do that day, I try to focus on what I did do, and what I can try to do tomorrow.
I asked a friend just recently, who was lamenting constantly over the past and how she could have better handled situation, “If you spend so much time looking behind you, how do you think you’ll keep from stumbling, falling and hurting yourself on everything that is in front of you?”
Impossible. Look forward, stop looking back. Got guilt? Feeling repentant? Go to confession. Be free with Christ’s Love.
“As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” — Romans 10:11
Goodnight, God Bless
